Do parents today know how to teach children manners?

Rudeness is epidemic

Rudeness is epidemic in our culture.

The Decline of Manners

The Scriptures talk about a day when the love of most will grow cold.

People will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful….

Some say that day has arrived.

We’re raising ambassadors.

As homeschool parents, we have the opportunity to influence our culture in a profound and healthy way.

We’re representatives from another country—and our King rules with the Law of Love.

We’re raising ambassadors. How do we train them?


a thoughtful, bible-based approach to teaching good manners!


Apply virtue to daily life.

The fruit of the Spirit, as described in Galatians 5:22-23, is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

Applying those virtues to daily life, a number of training targets emerge.

Love can be expressed as:

  • listening without interrupting
  • apologizing when you are wrong
  • treating others as you wish to be treated
  • praying for those who are hurting or in need
  • standing up for those who are being oppressed.

Kindness can be expressed as:

  • holding the door open for others
  • offering to help carry groceries or other packages
  • offering to others before taking the last cookie, piece of cake, etc.
  • getting a beverage for others when you get one for yourself
  • speaking words of encouragement.

Faithfulness can be expressed as:

  • obeying your mother and father
  • honoring your elders and those in authority (unless doing so violates a biblical principle)
  • doing your chores without being asked
  • asking permission before using that which belongs to another
  • showing appreciation for home and family by putting things back where they belong when you’re finished with them.

Self-control can be expressed as:

  • behaving in a way appropriate for your circumstance (sometimes that means no running or climbing, speaking quietly, waiting patiently, )
  • making eye contact when you talk with someone
  • shaking hands firmly and confidently when you meet someone
  • saying “please” and “thank you”
  • practicing basic table manners like: wash your hands before you eat, chew with your mouth closed, don’t talk with food in your mouth, etc.

Small things can have a big impact.

Don’t underestimate the power of good manners. Even small acts of kindness can make a big impact.

As the light of civility in our culture grows dim, our light of love as expressed through godly manners will shine all the brighter.

Good Manners Boy holding roses

Seize the opportunity to prepare your ambassadors for the profound assignments that await them.

Do you have younger children? This list of good manners activities is a fun way to introduce them to manners.

If you haven’t done so already, begin today!

11 thoughts on “Do parents today know how to teach children manners?”

  1. Many young people view ‘manners’ as being ‘fake’. I’m an effort to be ‘true to their selves’, they do things that seem ‘rude’. They value ‘authenticity’ greater than kindness and civility.

    So many of them will speak sharply, won’t apologize, don’t give the last cookie etc. because it’s not how they feel. They believe Acting in a way that you are told is right/good, when you don’t feel like it, is fake. Our culture has turned things around on us.

  2. Thanks so much for that concise and very helpful download sheet. We are putting it on our refrigerator, and will be referring to it often in the coming days. We have been looking for a curriculum to teach good habits, but when I saw this article you wrote, I realized this is it! So many good points to work on, without bogging us down with endless pages which might make it seem too difficult.

    I agree with Ashley; can see that we definitely have that influence to work against, but I believe we can learn to harmonize the two. If we train our children in good habits, these will become their natural expression of authenticity!

    1. Thanks so much for your kind encouragement. And, especially, thanks for teaching your children good manners. We are all blessed by your investment!

  3. Thanks for this. My wife and I were approaching a difficult discussion with our oldest daughter and she feels exactly the same way. That she wants to be “real”. We told her that what comes to her mind should not always be spoken. It’s been difficult to articulate it and we were going to start studying in earnest in the word to help her. This helped us with a good starting point. Thanks,

    1. Wonderful, Rob. Thanks so much for sharing. It’s a blessing to hear that it helped your family. (Sending up a prayer for your daughter. God is faithful!)

    1. You are most welcome, Jane. Thanks for your kind encouragement and for the investment you’re making in your family.

  4. This post is so needed, but it is not just for children. Children learn from watching others; peers, family and parents. I think we all need reminding.

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