20 Good Manners to Teach Your Children

children with good manners

As parents, we want our kids to have good manners. 

The question is how to go about teaching them in a meaningful way that sticks?

Addressing the heart behind the manner is key (and is the focus of the Good Manners Guide). 

While manners are typically thought of in terms of social etiquette, they reach far beyond that.

No doubt you’ve seen how children learn behaviors and develop habits at a young age. They mimic what they see around them.

That’s why it is so important to teach kids good manners in a way that incorporates them naturally into their lifestyle. 

What Are Good Manners?


a thoughtful, bible-based approach to teaching good manners!


In a nutshell, good manners are the way we show others respect through our behavior toward them. 

It includes being polite, thoughtful, and overall mindful of our actions as we go about our daily lives—both in public and in private.

Teaching children manners should go beyond “do’s” and “don’ts” to reach the heart behind the behavior. 

Somewhere along the way, we restricted etiquette for kids to simply “please” and “thank you.”

Don’t get me wrong, that’s a great place to start. 

But something is missing. 

Many young people today are glued to their devices, don’t know how to give a proper handshake, have no regard for their elders, and speak sarcasm as their first language.

As a culture, we need to get back to training children in common courtesy.

Why? Well, that brings me to my next point.

Good Manners and Right Conduct Go Hand-in-Hand

Right conduct hinges on knowing how to behave in any give situation. 

It considers whether actions are appropriate or not as well as what actions should be carried out as they are called for. 

Similarly, good behavior involves interacting with people respectfully and rightfully.

Manners are often the small—but significant—actions that bring about those respectful and proper interactions. 

For example, when you’re at a social gathering, it’s not proper to play video games or be on your phone. 

Instead, acceptable conduct dictates socializing and interacting appropriately with those around you, making them feel noticed, loved, and appreciated. 

Children aren’t innately born with an awareness of how their behavior makes others feel. 

It’s up to us as parents to teach them ways to have good manners in everyday life and that those manners are directly linked to how they conduct themselves. 

One reason this is so critical is because good habits and manners in children build strong character. And strong character is what helps them become respected, trustworthy adults: 

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Proverbs 22:6

The True Meaning of Good Manners

Manners are so much more than proper etiquette. 

Though basic good manners for children should include saying please and thank you, it shouldn’t end there (as it so often does). 

Emily Post said it well:

“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others.”

It’s about being kind and compassionate to those around you no matter the circumstances and showing empathy to those in need. 

Types of Manners

From table manners to social etiquette, displaying good manners is ultimately a heart matter. 

That said, let’s take a closer look at manners within the home and school environment since that is where children spend most of their time. 

Good Manners at Home 

The mannerisms our children exhibit begin in the home.

Far too many parents have relinquished their responsibility to teach good manners over to the school system. 

The consequences of doing so are growing more and more apparent. 

That’s why, now more than ever, we need to practice good manners with our children at home.  

Kids learn via observation, so it’s up to us as parents to set a good example. 

As you teach different ways to have good manners, make sure your respect and compassion toward others shine through. 

By simply mimicking what you do, good manners can become a natural part of who our children become.

It may also be helpful to display a quick-reference chart like this one to help them remember their manners.

As children model manners at home, their behavior becomes a habit that naturally extends to other areas of their lives—a benefit to them and you!

The benefits of good manners don’t end there (read that linked post for more info).

Good Manners at School 

Manners are especially important in school, whether at home or in the public sector. 

Common etiquette rules like raising their hand before speaking, listening carefully, or being quiet while others work should be practiced on a daily basis. 

The best way to teach good manners for students is by giving examples of what should and shouldn’t happen in various scenarios.

Turning it into a role play game can make it fun. You can also use these fun manners activities to help you teach them!

List of 20 Important Manners Children Need to Learn

Some good manners may seem like common sense, but children need to know (and be shown) exactly what is expected of them.

Instructions should be clear to eliminate uncertainty or uneasiness. 

I find that it helps to explain why a certain action or manner is essential in the way that it impacts others. 

Keep it practical and incorporate examples of good manners in your day-to-day life. 

To help get you started, here’s a list of common manners to teach your children:

1. Ask, Don’t Take

Train your children to ask before they take something by using words like “May I” or “Can I.” 

Even if the item is theirs, it’s always nice to ask first. 

This also lays the groundwork for being faithful in borrowing things or asking permission as they grow older.

2. Say Please and Thank You

We all know these as the quintessential “good manner words,” but it’s important to realize they don’t come naturally—we must teach our children to use them. 

They are simple words, yet they speak volumes of a heart and mind that is kind and considerate of others. 

I’ve heard many parents ask:

“At what age should a child say thank you?” 

I say as soon as they learn to talk! Start them early, so it doesn’t seem a strange thing but simply a way of life. 

3. Share

You’ve heard the saying “sharing is caring”? It’s cliche but true. 

Children can learn sharing early on through play. As they grow older, be sure to emphasize the importance of sharing their time as well. 

Though not as tangible, sharing one’s time can be infinitely more impactful. 

4. Apologize Sincerely

Apologizing is more than just saying you’re sorry.

We need to teach our children to humble themselves when they’re wrong and show their sincerity through body language, word choice, and behavior.

5. Offer to Help Without Being Asked

Good manners go hand in hand with empathy. When a child learns to put themselves in the shoes of others, their eyes are opened to the needs around them.

We need to teach our children to lend a helping hand whenever, wherever needed.

6. Say Excuse Me 

It applies to many situations—asking to be excused from the table, asking for a way through, or excusing yourself when you accidentally sneeze or cough near someone. 

It’s not only polite, but it also communicates a humble heart.

7. Know Basic Table Manners

At its root, table manners involve practicing self-control. 

Good Manners Guide puts it this way:

Poor table manners demonstrate laziness and a lack of respect. On the other hand, when you are mindful of how you conduct yourself at the table, it demonstrates self-control and regard for those around you. (And it makes meals far more enjoyable for everyone involved.)

8. Listen Carefully

Listening can be tough for children. Their hunger to be heard usually outweighs their desire listen intently to what’s being said. 

It takes patience and persistence (on the parent’s part) to train them to listen well. 

One little tip that helps is to ensure they look at you when you’re talking. If you don’t have their eyes, you probably don’t have their ears (or their attention).

9. Don’t Interrupt 

It’s so important to learn not to interrupt and to wait for others to finish speaking.

It shows consideration and an understanding that you view what the other person says as being important.

10. Be Kind 

Mark Twain said it beautifully:

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

It’s a universal language communicated by actions rather than words. As such, it’s often easier to teach kindness through tangible acts children can see:

  • Holding the door for others 
  • Helping someone clean up their spill 
  • Taking soup to a sick friend 

11. Honor Your Elders 

It’s the first commandment given that came with a promise—Honor your father and mother so that you may live long. (Ephesians 6:2-3)

Though honor is directly linked to obedience, it also involves good manners as it affects how we behave toward those in authority. 

Whether their parents, teachers, elderly at church, or adults in the community, children should be taught to recognize and respect authority at an early age. 

12. Be Faithful in Chores or Responsibilities

Following through on promises is one of the most important qualities a person can possess. 

For children, it starts with the little things like washing dishes when it’s their turn or faithfully feeding their pet every morning.

If they develop that commitment now, it will serve them well the rest of their life! 

13. Wait Patiently 

Although patience is a trait children tend to lack, it can be acquired over time, and it’s vital to their future success to help them do so. 

Start training your children slowly with simple things like sitting still, waiting in line, or waiting for their younger siblings to be served first. 

In time, they will learn that patience is far more than “good manners” but truly a virtue.

14. Shake Hands & Greet Others Politely

When we acknowledge someone’s presence, it shows that we respect them. 

It’s important to teach children how to greet people properly by making eye contact and shaking hands firmly.  

15. Cover Your Mouth 

We all cough and sneeze. It’s just a part of life, but even in this simple thing, we can be polite and show others we care. 

Children should be taught to cover their mouths (or cough/sneeze into their elbow) at an early age. 

For younger ones, it helps to explain the concept of germs and how they spread.

16. Hold the Door for Others 

Being courteous starts with little gestures like holding the door open for someone. 

Even though it only takes a few seconds, it helps people feel appreciated—and that can brighten their entire day!

17. Be Attentive 

Learning to pay attention goes beyond good manners. It’s really an essential skill for children as it can help them excel in their school work (and life).

Being attentive also ensures children know what to do and when in different situations. 

18. Give More Than You Take

It’s always better to give more than you receive. 

Teaching your children the art of blessing others will help them lead a more meaningful life. 

Be specific as you train them in having a giving spirit. For instance, provide examples of what they can do with their chore money to help others. 

And don’t forget to emphasize the importance of giving their time, perhaps in service at their church or a local community project. 

19. Be Respectful   

In addition to honoring their elders, children need to respect their fellow friends—those of the same age or even younger. 

Every person is unique and made in the image of God, and that should be respected. 

For instance, I always taught my older son to be quiet while my younger one was doing his schoolwork. I taught it as a matter of respecting his time and recognizing that we weren’t the only ones in the room with needs to tend do. 

As children grow older, it’s also important to teach respect in speech. “Please” and “thank you” go a long way, but respect further involves avoiding rude and hurtful words. 

20. Make Eye Contact   

Though there are always exceptions for children with special needs, making eye contact during conversation is key to good social relationships. 

Try to spend quality time practicing this skill by speaking to your kids and maintaining eye contact, encouraging them to do the same. 

If you find yourself wondering, “how do I raise a polite child,” I hope this list helps you identify those key manners to teach your children. 

Teaching good manners for kids doesn’t have to be complicated. 

Just think of how you want to be treated—with kindness, love, and respect—and train your children to walk in those things. 

Would you like a more comprehensive resource to help you teach manners?

Check out the Good Manners Guide:

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